So, I’ve been procrastinating on my draft lately.
I know, right? I hate myself, too.
This time it’s not because of plot, or writer’s block, or an excessively busy life outside of the writing realm. It’s because what I’m writing is painful.
For this particular project, I’m drawing on a lot of my own experiences and while that’s good in some ways, it’s hard in others. I find myself unable to separate what my characters do from my very vivid memories of intimate moments and it sends me spiraling. I curl up in the fetal position or crawl under the covers and refuse to write until I pull myself back together. It’s kind of sad and pathetic.
I honestly don’t know what to do when it hurts to write. Perhaps I play through the pain, or let myself crumble and then reassemble like I always have or I just avoid it and don’t write about it. Will that work? Or will my words sound hollow and forced? Do I shelve this project until it hurts less?
Or…do I simply tell myself that it’s okay if it hurts, but it’s in the past for a reason?
That last one seems ideal…hard to say if I follow through though.
I’m exhausted. Tell next time, I’m out.