January 2, 2014
Signs up for online hoping to break her streak of bad boyfriends/dates/crushes and to not die alone.
January 26, 2014
Receives first message from single male: “Hello. Would you like to join my shadow puppet club?”
January 28, 2014
Desperate thirty something uses terrible pickup line about polar bears and ice breaking. Captain sighs.
January 29, 2014
Another desperate 30 something with atrocious grammar and spelling asks for favorite dinosaur and uses the word ‘baby’ excessively.
February 1, 2014
Captain receives message that was promising until he said, “You have pretty eyes can I touch them?”
February 7, 2014
Gets asked out on a date (finally!) Captain can’t seem to coordinate schedules with male interest. Date TBD.
February 9, 2014
Matched with a male wearing a jedi outfit and holding a lightsaber in daily matches. Online dating stereotype fulfilled. Captain passes. Another online dating stereotype fulfilled.
February 12, 2014
Ditches one website in favor of another. Immediately starts getting texts from all sorts of guys.
February 15, 2014
Matched with dreamy boy that has an adorable puppy and a house. Desperately wants to go on a date.
February 16, 2014
Male love interest senses desperation and disappears. Captain can’t blame him
February 21, 2014
Captain is so over online dating
February 27, 2014
Captain matched with young man that has a job and a sense of humor. They arrange to meet
March 7, 2014
After rearranging twice due to their busy schedules, Captain and Bagel go out on their first date. It doesn’t suck.
<End of Log>