GUEST POST: The funniest people you aren’t following on Twitter

Time for another guest post! Here on my blog I appreciate all forms of writing, even if it’s only 140 characters. I spend a lot of time on Twitter, but I’m sure my feed isn’t nearly as entertaining as Twitter resident Jeff McMurray’s. Here he lists the funniest people you probably aren’t following on Twitter.

(Quick preface before getting into this post. This was originally supposed to be about the time I spent a week in Spain after I lost my job last year. But I loafed around and was uninspired to write. Kind of ironic since that trip was one of the more memorable things I’ve done in my life. I advise all of you to take 8 days off of work and travel to a random country by yourself. All right, on to what I’m here to write about.)

I love Twitter.  Not really a controversial statement but it’s true. Of all the social media platforms out there today Twitter is hands down the best.  In a short 140 characters at a time Twitter has helped change how society has interacted. I can’t imagine watching any relatively major event on TV these days without having my feed up to read what is being said. Hell, Twitter has even allowed me to not watch shows (looking at you Golden Globes) and still know exactly what is going on.

I’m also a comedy nerd. Podcast ranging from Comedy Bang Bang to You Made it Weird fill up my iTunes. Comedy Central Radio is one of three stations on constant rotation in my car, (Backspin and XMU are the other two). In my eyes Hannibal Burress is the best comedian in the game today (John Mulaney and TJ Miller are a close second and third).

With those things in mind, it’s time to dive in and talk about what I was asked to write about. What is that you ask? Oh, it’s just the funniest people you aren’t following on Twitter. Real hard-hitting stuff, I know. But if you end up following any of these people and you find yourself to be a happier person, well then you can send your thanks to @mcmurrayjt (yeah, that’s me, no big deal). Time for the list!

Screen Shot 2014-02-19 at 10.34.52 PM

 Shelby Fero (@shelbyfero): 20 year old comedy wunderkind who dropped out of college after her freshman year at USC to take over the comedy world. And take over it she has. At such a young age she has already appeared on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast and is a writer for both @midnight on Comedy Central and Chozen on FX.

Sample tweets

@shelbyfero  3m
I’m gonna be like six babies deep into a relationship before I admit I still don’t actually know his first name.

@shelbyfero  Feb 16
There are people among us, that look just like you or me, who think matte black is a good idea for cars.

@shelbyfero  Feb 9
A lot of knockoff Morgan Freemans out there narrating subpar nature docs.

 Screen Shot 2014-02-19 at 10.38.04 PM

Jon Bois (@jon_bois): writer for SB Nation, known bourbon lover, and breaker of Madden. Has some of the driest wit and sharpest criticism of twitter and how it’s used by brands on twitter today. He’s also like ee cummings and gives zero fucks about proper grammar.

Sample tweets 

@jon_bois  Feb 15
i bet the “sun revolves around the earth” people throw cooler parties than the “i’m going to scold you because you think that” people

‏@jon_bois  Feb 15
would anyone like to discuss mlb spring training studs & duds

@jon_bois  Feb 14
be on the lookout for web tools that could improve your workflow

@jon_bois  Feb 8
whoever correctly guesses what that fan said to Marcus Smart will be ushered into a transdimensional god-bubble & sent to survey the heavens

Screen Shot 2014-02-19 at 10.41.32 PM

Pour Me Coffee (@pourmecoffee): Do you like politics? Do you like satire? Great! Now go follow Pour Me Coffee.  Best way to describe PMC tweets is that they are an unfiltered, written word version of the Daily Show. They have a liberal bend to them but they are sharply funny.

Sample tweets

@pourmecoffee  Feb 17
Remember, the Constitution mandates that on Presidents Day all citizens buy a mattress or at least test drive a car.

@pourmecoffee  Feb 17
Insects are up to something. I will let you know more as I go deeper.

@pourmecoffee  Feb 15
Today in 1989 Soviets left Afghanistan after 9 deadly years and world learned to never again go to war there, j/k we totally did.

@pourmecoffee  Feb 11
Believe in yourself, work hard and you can do *anything*. Except what these Olympians are doing. Like 100 people can do that. Be serious.

 Screen Shot 2014-02-19 at 10.45.50 PM

Fred Delicious (@fred_delicioius): Twitter can be a weird place. Hell, there’s even a subculture within Twitter called Weird Twitter, @horse_ebooks being the most well known handle in the world of Weird Twitter. What makes Fred such a great follow is that he is so random. You never know what you will get from him. One day he will go on a Bruce Willis joke spree, and then the next day his is tweeting about cops’ breakdancing. He’s also, I think, British? No clue really. All right, enough questions. Go follow him.

Sample tweets 

@Fred_Delicious  Feb 16
[judge looks concerned]

“so, u want a divorce because ur wife chose Bulbasaur as her starter Pokemon?”

“GRANTED”

*Bangs gavel 500 times*

@Fred_Delicious  Feb 16
[Duck support group]

“After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day”

*the other ducks nod sympathetically*

Fred_Delicious  Feb 13
Music trivia: “Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe” is about a stripper who wore down the batteries in Kendrick Lamar’s favorite dildo

I hope you found these people as funny as I do. They are what help make Twitter great.

But, if none of these tickle your funny bone then there are the following. I won’t go into a suspect line breakdown of these but these people are just as, if not more, funny than the people listed above: @nachosarah, @filmdrunk, @edsbs, @mobute, @mattsebek, @thebrianahansen and @puddinstrip.

All right, that’s it from me. I’m off to live tweet that one thing we are all dying to watch.

If you like tweets about comedy, Louisville, music, the St. Louis Cardinals, Xavier Basketball, #hashtags or the TV show Community, you can follow Jeff @mcmurrayjt.

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